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@LUCYMACARONI
Missionary position is like the starter Sim of sex positions, because you can make it into whatever you want. It’s also basic (in a good way), offers lots of skin-to-skin contact, and, if you want to kiss, hey, your faces are right there.
But at the same time, “missionary sex is such a mixed bag for me,” says Shani Hart, Sex Educator and Certified Sexuality Coach. “On one hand, I think of the closeness, how intimate it feels when my partner looks me in my eyes mid-stroke and all that tight holding and caressing. On the other hand, I think about how long it will take to have an orgasm. And for me the amount of time equals NEVER! I’m in the 80% majority of women that have difficulty or simply can’t orgasm from penetrative sex,” says Hart, who I am virtually high-fiving in agreement.
If missionary hasn’t been doing it for you lately or you want to trick it out with butt stuff or just generally make it way more pleasurable, try some of these ideas:
For the receiving partner
- Move your ass: “Being on the bottom doesn’t mean you don’t participate. You can use your hands to explore your partner’s body, guide their movements or even restrict their movement, which can be a turn on. You can try raising and lowering one or both legs or rotating your hips in slow circles,” says Renée Hilliard, M.D., a trained Ob/Gyn and sex and relationship coach.
- Get a pillow or wedge involved: “Elevating your hips can change the angle of penetration and be an enjoyable change for both partners,” says Hilliard.
For the penetrating partner
- Switch it up: “Instead of constant steady porn style thrusting, which can become mundane, try varying the speed. Going super slow especially at the beginning can allow for your partner to fully relax and open up. Try alternating between being up on your arms or forearms and putting more of your weight onto your partner. Pressing in and holding at the point of maximum body contact can be very enjoyable. Try rocking in different directions while pressed all the way in, even making little circles with your hips,” says Hilliard.
For either partner
- Make sure your clit is getting the love it needs. The majority of us don’t orgasm with penetration alone. Know what your body likes.
- Use toys. (See also: your clit, the love it needs.) “A simple bullet or one of my favorites to have my partner use on me, a Magic Wand, will add some clitoral stimulation to the party, making it easier to get to the big ‘O,’” Hart says.
Here are 16 of the best positions for missionary sex — and feel free to sprinkle in one (or all) of the tips above for peak pleasure while working your way through ’em. Feel very, very free.
P.S.: Want all the best sex tips, all the time? We know you do.
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