27 Signs Your Partner Is in Love With You (Even If They Haven’t Said It Yet)

27 Signs Your Partner Is in Love With You (Even If They Haven’t Said It Yet)

Who doesn’t love a good dramatic declaration of undying affection? Think: Billy Crystal running through the streets of NYC to profess his love for Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally…, or Love Actually’s iconic if divisive “to me, you are perfect” confession. (Okay, so maybe the optics around that one are iffy, but still!)

But as any veteran dater knows, finding out if someone loves you in real life can be a tad trickier than in the movies. Because most of us aren’t out here crashing New Year’s Eve parties to passionately declare our love, figuring out if the person you’ve caught major feels for has caught them too often involves a bit of detective work—aka, deciphering texts over cocktails with friends and trying to figure out when an emoji is just an emoji and when it’s a sure sign of true love.

Obviously, the easiest way to know if someone loves you is if they, uh, tell you they do, which means the best way to find out whether or not someone loves you is to, well, ask them, explains marriage and family therapist Alyson Bullock. “Learning the skill of clear, direct communication is one of the most helpful things for your relationship,” she says.

But look, not everyone expresses love the same way, and not everyone is going to feel ready to drop those three little words just because you’re ready to hear them. Fortunately, Bullock says there can be some key signs to look out for if you’re trying to figure out if your partner loves you. So if you want to find out if your person is feeling the love without totally putting them on the spot, you’re going to want to keep an eye out for some more *subtle* indicators.

Remember, “People express love differently, making it easy to miss or misinterpret the signs,” says psychotherapist Jenny Mahlum, Ed.M, LMSW. Hence why we’ve attempted to take some of the guesswork out by asking the experts to share some surefire signs that your person has love on the brain, even if they haven’t said “I love you” just yet. If you notice your person engaging in these behaviors, chances are love is in the air.

1. You’re part of their social media.

Like it or not, social media is here to stay, and Bullock says if your partner involves you in their socials, whether that’s posting about you, tagging you, or simply being chill about you looking over their shoulder when they scroll, it might “show they’re not afraid to take you public,” she explains. While that doesn’t mean they have to post about you nonstop, at least occasional social media interaction likely means “they want the world to know you’re an item, and they also have nothing to hide as far as illicit online relationships.”

2. They talk about a future with you in it.

We don’t mean they’ve planned out your wedding, but when your partner mentions something like how cute your kids would be, or how they want to go backpacking with you next semester, Bullock explains that’s a clear sign they can at least picture a future with you. “The future is where people’s dreams live, and including you in those dreams is a pretty sure sign they’re in love with you,” she says.

3. They never leave you wondering when (or if!) you’re going to see them next.

Someone who likes you is going to make plans with you, end of story. Someone who loves you is going to make sure they always know exactly when they’ll be seeing you next. If they’re already planning your next date before they even kiss you goodbye and it seems like all their free time is going straight to you, there’s a good chance love is in the air.

4. They’re ~emotionally~ intimate with you.

Being physically intimate is one thing, but being vulnerable and sharing intimate details is a whole other, and it could be a sign your S.O. feels safe with you. “These details could be anything from sharing a most embarrassing moment to telling you about their first experience with depression,” Bullock says. “If they trust you with the parts of them that they hide from other people, you can be sure that they care for you on a deep level.”

5. They want to meet your friends and family.

If introducing them to your family is NBD, they actually want to join your friends for brunch, and they can’t wait to be your plus-one to your cousin’s wedding next month, that’s someone who probably has some pretty intense feelings. A person who is eager to be a part of your whole life, including your friendships and family life, is probably someone whose feelings are getting pretty serious. In other words, yeah, they love you.

6. They use “we” language.

If they refer to the two of you as a unit, chances are things are getting pretty serious. To be clear, this doesn’t mean they’re speaking for you, but are rather using “we”-talk to convey a sense of “togetherness, mutual respect, and the feeling that you’re on the same team,” says clinical psychologist Jenny Mahlum. See also: They trust you and support your independence but approach problems in the relationship with a sense of “we-ness,” e.g., “Let’s figure this out together.”

7. They show up for you—literally and figuratively.

Sure, showing up for that late-night “hangout” is easy peasy, but according to licensed professional counselor Laura Rutledge, actually showing up for someone you love looks a bit different, and means a lot more. “Showing up and communicating honestly, as we are, enhances our ability to receive and give love,” she says. This means they’re emotionally available in your presence—they’re attentive, caring, and willing to go deeper with you. And when things go astray, they don’t retreat.

8. They’re happy doing nothing with you.

According to dating coach Rikki Dynmod, when someone is down to do the mundane with you, that’s a strong indication that things will last between you two and that their feelings are real: “When just being in your presence is enough for someone, you can be sure they have a love for you.”

9. They pick up thoughtful gifts for you.

Even if they’re not the best gift-giver in the world, they buy you socks with corgis on them just because they know you love corgis. Know what I mean? They pay attention to things you mention or at least try to find something you didn’t even know you needed.

10. They inadvertently do tasks and chores you hate.

Okay, so some people just aren’t big on gifts, and that’s fine—it’s a love language, after all. But if your partner is doing your dishes, taking your trash out, making your bed in the a.m., or doing any sort of chore/necessity you would otherwise hate doing yourself, it’s a pretty good sign they have the hots for you, says Alex Z., 29. Now we don’t mean they’re scrubbing your entire apartment (but if so, yay!), but checking off those pesky task items you despise—without you asking—is a v good sign. It’s also v convenient when your dishes keep stacking up.

11. They try to get into the things you like.

Like, maybe he sat through an entire season of The Bachelor and listened to you rant about the contestants just because? “If it makes her happy, then it makes me happy,” says Francisco C., 26. This doesn’t mean they have to like everything you like or even end up liking it at all, but showing interest in the things that get you excited shows a desire to connect with you on multiple levels.

12. They remember small details.

Maybe when the holidays roll around they surprise you with the exact bag you mentioned literal months ago, maybe they remember exactly what you were wearing on your first date, or maybe they’ve memorized every detail of that funny story you told them once about that embarrassing thing you did on the bus in high school. The point is, someone who’s paying attention to the little things is definitely falling in love.

13. They’re reminded of you All! The! Time!

If they find a way to make every story about you or something that you did together, there’s probably a good chance they have some feels. “When songs on the radio remind you of them or things you did together,” says Ross G., 28. Granted, you might not *know* about all of these instances because hi, it’s pretty personal. But if you ever get sent a meme or text with a “this made me think of you,” things are looking up in the love department.

14. They find any reason to bring you up to their friends and family.

Literally any reason. “When I’m in love, that person typically comes up more often than not in conversation with my friends and family,” says Hayden K., 25. “It’s like everything you talk about reminds you of a story with them.” Since you’re probably not always with their inner circle solo, pay attention to what their friends say when you *do* see them. If your S.O.’s pals ask about the new promotion or hobby milestone you def didn’t tell them about, that’s a sign your S.O. brags about you and wants their friends to like you.

15. They want to learn about your past.

Someone who loves you is usually pretty eager to know everything about you, including who you were when you were younger and how you became who you are today. If they’re asking a lot of questions about your past, your family, and your background—and remembering the details!—that’s a pretty good sign they’re in love.

16. They don’t get FOMO when they’re with you.

If someone has the option to go out with their friends, 90 percent of the time, they’re going to go out with their friends. But if the question is: hang out with friends or hang out with you, and they make plans with you instead, that is a great sign. “I know I’m not having FOMO when I’m with them,” says Matt D., 25. This is because love shifts our perspective, Bullock says, so hanging with the bros doesn’t feel quite as important as it once did.

17. They don’t freak out when you cry.

Okay, yes, so anyone in your life who cares about you should be able to handle a few tears. That said, crying is super vulnerable—especially in front of a (new) romantic partner. If you can have a little breakdown in front of your person without feeling awkward, embarrassed, or worried about “scaring them off,” that’s a good sign you’re both in love.

18. You’re the first person they tell good news.

It’s a little bit of a cliché, but For! Good! Reason! If you’re the first person they want to tell about their new job, big promotion, or finally scoring tickets to see their fave musician of all time, things are certainly looking like love.

19. They’re (almost) always paying attention.

While you can’t expect them to have a perfect memory, they remember virtually everything. Or at the very least, they remember the super important stuff. And when something big comes up, they make it super clear they’re all ears. They put their phone down or pause the movie, with the reason being they care enough to focus on you. You’re not an afterthought. “More than anything, just being a good listener is a good sign,” says Carter M., 26.

20. They let you know they’re thinking about you.

They might not text you “I love you,” but they message you when they hear that song you had stuck in your head the other day or when someone at work used a phrase you hate. Basically, you’re always on their mind. And when you’re in public, they put their hand around your waist and give it a little squeeze at just the right moments. Even more, Bullock says when someone is in love with you, they’ll typically go out of their way to create those sweet moments of intimacy.

21. They drop everything when you need it most.

It’s not even a question. If you need them, for whatever reason, they’re there…and they don’t drag their feet or complain later that they helped you out. In fact, Bullock says they’ll likely change their schedule for you—even if it’s inconvenient—if they’re in lurve. It’s also a good sign if they notice when something is wrong, even if you don’t admit it. (But also, you should just admit it, since they know anyway.)

22. You’re the person they text as a test when their phone is being weird.

Okay, hear me out on this one. You know when you get a new phone and iMesssage takes a little while to sync up, or for whatever reason you can’t send images or whatever and you need to text a trusted person to test if the issue has been resolved? Yeah, that person is your soulmate. Sorry, I don’t make the rules; just facts here. If you’re the person getting those, “Hey can you let me know if this text comes through normal?” messages, that’s love, baby.

23. They know when something’s wrong without you having to tell them.

When the vibes are off and they can tell as soon as you walk in the door—even if you’re actively trying to hide it—that’s a person who is super in sync with your emotions. Someone who knows something’s up with you practically before you do—and who actually cares—is probably someone who loves you.

24. They lean on you for support.

You’re their go-to. You keep their head on straight. They text or call you when they feel like walking out of work or skipping a day at the gym. They trust you more than anyone, and even when you two fight (because yup, every couple has arguments), you’re both willing to put in the effort to fix things since you know how strong you are together as a team.

25. They support your dreams.

They’re not about to let you quit your job so you can move to Spain and try your hand at bullfighting out of the blue, but they absolutely would help you open your own restaurant, or go back to school to major as an engineer. Or… if it made personal sense to you, become a bullfighter. And yup, they brag about you. Sometimes you feel like they’re more proud of your new job than you are.

26. You just kinda feel like they definitely love you!

Trust your instincts! According to licensed therapist Rebecca Soto, emotions are sometimes our greatest source of information, so don’t discount them. “So many people doubt their ability to trust their intuition or judgment,” says Soto, but don’t be so quick to second-guess yourself. “If you’re picking up on something, ask yourself what you’ve noticed objectively.” Chances are if it *feels* like love, it’s probably love.

27. You catch them staring at you and smiling to themselves.

Bullock says that giddy, butterflies-in-the-belly feeling is thanks to the ~love hormone~ called oxytocin. When you experience these feelings and hormone surges long enough, real, lasting love can form. And if you’ve ever witnessed the cuteness of your S.O. just gazing at you with adoration, it’s safe to say they’re crazy about you.

Headshot of Rachel Varina

Rachel Varina is a full-time freelance writer covering everything from the best vibrators (the Lelo Sona) to the best TV shows (The Vampire Diaries). She has over 10 years of editorial experience with bylines at Women’s Health, Elite Daily, Betches, and more. She lives in Tampa, Florida, but did not feed her husband to tigers. When she’s not testing out new sex toys (100+ and counting so far!), she’s likely chilling with her dogs or eating buffalo chicken dip. Ideally at the same time. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter

Headshot of Morgan Sullivan

Morgan is a Philadelphia-based freelance writer, covering everything from health and sex to fashion and beauty. Her work can also be seen in Bustle, Refinery29, Well+Good, and more. She’s a big fan of these things, in order: silk slip dresses, giving unsolicited life advice, working out, and Taylor Swift’s entire discography. 

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