I don’t know who needs to hear this, but sexual fantasies come in all difference shapes and sizes. It’s likely you won’t have the same fantasies as your best friends, and that’s okay. So long as everything is consensual, these things are completely personal to you.

For some, it can mean simply bringing a bullet vibrator vibrator into the bedroom for some extra clitoral stimulation (which I *highly* recommend, btw). For others, it could mean hanging a ceiling sex swing, grabbing some handcuffs, securing a blindfold, and/or buying leather lingerie. So, yeah, there’s a bit of a spectrum.

But regardless of what you may or may not be interested in, exploring sexual fantasies are a great way not only to ~spice~ up the bedroom in whatever way that floats your boat, but it can take the monotony out of your normal day-to-day. (Oh, and if you love Halloween, it’s basically the perf excuse to get into a character and/or costume, even when it’s not even October).

But remember, no matter how elaborate your sexual fantasy is, every sexual act in and out of the bedroom should start with a conversation—and yup, this means you should be having the sex talk with your partner regularly. What this looks like: For one, you need to develop a safe word (like “pineapple” or “red”). This word would only be used to relay to your partner that the scene is going too far or there’s a boundary being crossed. You and/or your partner should stop immediately once a safe word is brought up. This ensures safe, consensual sex.

The second thing you can do is easy: Just talk to your partner. Since you’re diving into new sexual territory with whatever you’re trying, here are some questions you should be asking beforehand to make sure you’re checking in with your partner and their pleasure: How will I know if you’re having fun? How will I know when I need to do something different? What kind of mood or feelings do we want to have while we play?

Now, the fun part. For all of you looking for inspo (or, hey, maybe are just super into voyeurism), here’s 13 women’s most hottest, sexual fantasies.