IMHO, sexting happens to be one of the best things you can do with a phone. Sure, doomscrolling yourself into oblivion on the lawless social media platform of your choice is fun (I mean, is it, though?) but if you ask us, trading steamy messages with your fave sexting partner is probably a more satisfying use of your screen time (in more ways than one). One way to turn up the heat on this already NSFW activity? Turn it into a game—a sexting game.
What’s a sexting game? So glad you asked. Basically, it’s what it sounds like: a game you play while you’re sexting. In case you weren’t aware, your sext sessions needn’t all be of the, “What would you do if I were there right now, haha?” variety. While there’s nothing wrong with this classic sext setup, sexting can take many different fun and flirty forms. From sending nudes to exchanging steamy voice memos to, yes, incorporating some sexy sexting games, the sky’s the limit when it comes to finding new and creative ways to get your sext on. So if you happen to be looking for a fun way to liven up your virtual sex life, we’ve got a few ideas for ya.
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Not to mention, if you’re new to sexting and/or anxious about taking things into sextual territory with a new partner, turning it into a game can be a low-pressure way to ease into the hot and heavy stuff and/or add a little levity to a potentially intimidating conversation. Because, much like regular, IRL sex, sexting doesn’t always have to be this super serious, intimately erotic moment. It can (and should) be fun. One way to up the fun factor on your next sexting sesh? Turn it into a literal sext game. Might we suggest one of these ones?
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1. Would You Rather?
Hi, she’s a classic for a reason. While the version you may remember from middle school was probably fairly innocent, there’s an easy way to take this game from tame to X-rated: just make all the questions about sex, duh. (Here are a bunch for inspo, you’re welcome.) Depending on what you ask, you can keep it as subtle or graphic as you want, from “Would you rather go down on me or have me go down on you?” to “Would you rather come inside me or on my face?” to…well, you get the picture.
2. 20 Questions
Pick a sex thing, any sex thing (say, a sex position, a sex act, a kink, a sex toy, etc.) and have your partner ask yes-or-no questions to try to figure out what dirty little thoughts you have on your mind.
3. Sexty Truth or Dare
If you played your last round of truth or dare at, like, a middle school sleepover, allow us to introduce you to Adult Truth or Dare. (It’s a lot more fun than you remember, BTW.) Not only will you have the opportunity to trade ~intimate~ sexual truths with your partner, but the dare element can make things a little more interactive than your standard sexting session tends to be. Dare your partner to send you a photo of a certain part of their body, take off a certain article of clothing, record a video of them touching themselves, etc. etc. (Just make sure everyone is on the same page about consent and no one feels pressured to complete a dare or tell a truth they don’t actually want to.)
4. Never Have I Ever
Unlike some of the sexting games on this list that are getting an X-rated glow up, Never Have I Ever has pretty much always been about sex (at least as far as my high school friends and I were concerned). Back in the day, it was how you found out which of your friends was the first to give a blow job, but as an adult, it can be a fun, low-stakes way to learn more about your partner’s sexual history without staging a full-on interrogation. (Again, just make sure your partner is fully on board and neither of you feels pressured to reveal anything you’d rather keep private in the name of the game.)
5. F*ck Marry Kill
I don’t care how old you are or how mature you think you are, FMK never gets old. While this one may be a little more silly than it is necessarily steamy, it can be a fun way to gain insight into what qualities your partner looks for in a sex partner. (Just don’t take their answers too seriously, especially if you’re playing with real people you actually know IRL. In fact, if you know you’re the jealous type who will absolutely let it eat you alive if your partner says they’d “F” one of your BFFs, maybe stick to celebs, mmkay?)
6. Horny MadLibs
Write your own erotic story (or look some up online) and have your partner fill in the blanks with the steamy details of their choice. Then send them the totally hot (and/or totally nonsensical) results. Maybe it will end with an orgasm, or maybe you’ll just get a good laugh out of the deal.
7. Search History Swap
You both have to send each other a link to the last porn clip you watched—no cheating! Take turns getting off to each other’s spank bank material, then discuss. (Sort of like a book club, but make it porn.)
8. Erotica Book Club
Speaking of book clubs, you could do the same porn swap as above, but with erotica. Read some steamy sex lit together, then engage in some intellectual discourse like the horny little scholars you are.
9. Remember That Time When…
Take turns reminiscing on some of the steamiest sexperiences you’ve had together. You could even go back and forth, each filling in the next detail as you verbally recreate some of your favorite sexual encounters.
10. Draft Your Sex Bucket List
Every couple should have a Yes/No/Maybe list, aka a list of sexual activities you’re interested in trying together and hard boundaries you’re not interested in crossing. Working on yours over text definitely counts as sexting. Honestly, what’s hotter than talking about your deepest sexual fantasies and respecting each other’s boundaries?
11. Build Your Own Sex Playlist
Sex playlists can be divisive, in part because two partners who otherwise have a great sex life might turn out to have, um, very different ideas about what constitutes good sex music. (For reference, please revisit the actual nightmare that was this viral Reddit sex song debacle.) The solution? Build your sex playlist together. Take turns sending each other sexy songs until you’ve created a lineup you both agree is bone-worthy.
12. Sex Toy Shopping Spree
Create a joint wish list of all the sex stuff (dildos and butt plugs and vibrators, oh my!) you want to add to your pleasure chest. Not only will it be a total turn-on texting about all the horny possibilities, but you’ll also get a few future gift ideas (and leave your person with a few hints for you, as well 👀).
13. Dream Orgy Draft
If you’re into group sex (whether IRL, in your fantasies, or both) put together your dream team of playmates. You can each come with a list of candidates, then narrow it down to your ideal roster of orgy participants.
14. Virtual Edging
ICYMI, edging is the act of bringing a partner (or yourself) close to orgasm but stopping before you actually hit your full climax. The idea is to eventually have a stronger, longer, more pleasurable orgasm thanks to all that buildup. Because it involves an element of dominance and submission (you’re literally controlling your partner’s orgasm) edging is often incorporated in BDSM play, but you can also turn it into a sext game. Take control of your partner’s pleasure from afar, telling them when and how to touch themselves and when they’re “allowed” to cum.
15. Role Play: Sexting Edition
Nope, you don’t have to be in the same room to engage in a little role play. In fact, if you’re new to this form of bedroom theater or feel a little anxious about the whole thing (totally valid, BTW!), sexting might be a great way to ease into it. Choose your personas and outline your dynamic (you can even choose to play fictional characters from a sexy book or movie you both like) and feel free to let your imagination run wild (all from behind the safety of your phone screen).
Associate Sex & Relationships Editor