You Should Probably (Definitely) Try These Sex Positions on Valentine’s Day

By
Dawn Raffel
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You Should Probably (Definitely) Try These Sex Positions on Valentine’s Day


Valentine’s Day sex is a little like birthday sex—there’s tons of emphasis on making it A Very Special Occasion. The difference, however, is that Valentine’s Day is all about celebrating your love, so you might feel added pressure to make it ultra-romantic and do something adorable and coupley, or to like, bust out the good underwear. Now, you could look at V-Day as a pressure-filled test of your entire relationship (no thnx 🙃) or, you could really lean into it and use the night (and these 25 Valentine’s Day sex positions) as a chance to supercharge your sex life—and eat some quality chocolate and watch smoochy Valentine’s Day movies. (Yes pls.)

Valentine’s Day is also a great opportunity to introduce new ideas and talk about the sexy things you want to try. “Whatever your fantasy is, discuss the dynamic with your partner and agree on the specifics and boundaries,” says sex expert and coach Niki Davis-Fainbloom. If you’re not quite sure what you like, take an online quiz. You have options, including Back to the Body’s “Pleasure Potential” quiz, a BDSM test that measures your kink level, and best-selling author and Somatic Sexologist Jaiya’s “Erotic Blueprint” quiz. “From there, you can explore new ways to turn each other on, looking for points of intersection,” says Sara Sloan, LMFT-Associate, a relationship and sex therapist at Austin Concierge Therapy.

Use the occasion to slow down and really pay attention to what’s going on between you and your partner, or if you’re on your own, to really focus on touch, sensation, and breath. “Valentine’s Day can be a time to take your time, tuning into the delicious, erotic sensations of each other’s bodies with sensual massage,” says Libby Sheppard, a sex and intimacy coach specializing in intimate touch. “Creating a beautiful, warm, and candlelit space to pamper your partner with a more tantric approach to intimacy takes away the focus on any ‘goal’ of sex and allows you both to relax and explore each other’s bodies.”

These Valentine’s Day sex positions are designed for whatever your relationship status looks like—whether you’ve been coupled up forever or you’re in a serious relationship with your vibrator.

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1

If it’s your first Valentine’s Day together….

Sexual Spooning

There’s nothing more lovey-dovey than spooning, and if the little spoon widens their legs, it’s sweet and sexy. “With this position, both partners have ready access to the clitoris to stimulate with a hand or toy,” says LELO sexpert Laurie Mintz, author of Becoming Cliterate. “For added clitoral pleasure, before getting into the position (or during), put some arousal oil all over the vulva and clitoris.” And when you’ve worn each other out? “It’s also an easy position to fall into a dreamy post-sex nap or sleep in!” she says.

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2

If you want to ride that new relationship energy….

The Big Tease

“Spend an evening teasing your partner until they can’t wait another minute to have you,” says Davis-Fainbloom. “The tease is all in the anticipation. At the restaurant, whisper to your partner what you want to do with them after dinner. Text them a sexy photo you took in the bathroom during dessert. When you get home, slowly undress your partner and massage them everywhere other than where they are aching to be touched. Only amp it up when they’re begging for it.” If they want to return the favor, put on a wearable vibe and hand them the remote…

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3

If you’re playing solo and want to connect with your bod…

Go deep with yourself and immerse yourself in sensation with the Lotus Lift meditation. Cup your vulva or put pressure on it and rock back and forth. “Tune into this incredible space between your legs,” says Pamela Madsen, certified Somatic Sex Educator and founder of Back to the Body. Notice any feelings that come up, physical as well as emotional. “It can be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”

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4

If you want to feel really (like, literally) connected…

The Tantra/BDSM Combo Pack

Mix the classic yab-yum tantric pose with a touch o’ bondage. “Using deliciously silky shibari rope made of silk, hemp, or jute, partners tie themselves together (not too tight but tight enough to feel really connected). Extra rope can also be used to bind hands together, for some extra-connective yab-yumminess,” says Sylvie Bee, who runs Sex and Sensibility, a sex, intimacy, and pleasure coaching practice. “The key to this is eye gazing and synchronized breathing for extra intimacy.

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5

If you need them right TF now…

The Valentine’s Feast

One partner lies back on a table or countertop, serving themselves up, and the other stands to penetrate with their penis or a strap-on. “This move is perfect for super-romantic couples who still got a lot of ‘I miss you so bad and I want you right now’ feelings pumping through their veins,” says Aliyah Moore, PhD, resident certified sex therapist at SexualAlpha. “It also benefits couples who are huge fans of clitoral play and deep penetration.” Keep a little space between yourselves for clit stim via hands or a bullet vibrator.

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6

If you’re long-distance and want to upgrade phone sex…

The Bone Away From Home

“When you want to have phone sex, it can be as close to the real thing as possible—it’s the gift that keeps on giving,” says Sloan. Have your partner tell you what they’d do to you if you were together IRL and give them a show via video chat. They please themselves on the other end. Win-win.

7

If you’re reuniting after way too long apart…

Face-to-Face

“Think of this position as missionary on its side,” says Ruby Payne, sex expert at adult-toy retailer UberKinky. “Focus on getting as close as possible to your partner so that you’re completely pressed against one another. Move slowly together, letting the sensual nature of this position completely take over.”

8

If you want literal romance novel sex…

The Swoon

“People fantasize about sex against the wall,” says Liv Arnold, an erotic rom-com writer. Stand and wrap your leg around your partner’s hips, like you’re in the part of the book where they have insanely passionate sex for the first time. “It allows for quickies, and you don’t even need to undress.”

9

If you’re with an adventurous new hookup buddy…

The “I Need You Now”

“Set the tone for the hookup with wild doggy-style leaning on the kitchen table. Your partner can grab your hair and cheekily slap your butt,” says Katherin Winnick, sex coach and BDSM expert at Let’s Talk Sex. “If you’re close to the fridge, have your partner rub an ice cube down your back.” Ultimate chills.

10

If your love language is gifts and you’re in an LDR…

The Party Favors

“Sexting is great, but a little virtual masturbation party is even better,” says Carrie Smith, VP of product at Cake. “Sending your partner a bottle of arousal gel—Cake’s Tingle to Mingle is designed for vaginal pleasure while Stim makes penises feel amazing—as a surprise gift will keep them happy (and hot!).” Tell each other exactly what to do with your new gifts.

11

If you’re going from 0 to 100…

The Dirty Dog

“It’s kind of like a bougie version of the classic doggy-style position except way more steamy!” says Rachael Z., sex hacker and female empowerment coach. It feels really good, and it’s super versatile. “It’s a receiver submissive position, so it’s perfect for rough, dirty, aggressive sex. Incorporate hair-pulling, the giver holding your wrists behind your back, or holding you firmly in place. It’s also easy to transform it into a slow, sexy, romantic position. The penetrating partner can whisper in their partner’s ear, kiss their neck, or caress their body. Go slow.”

12

If you need to spice it up with yourself…

The Lube-y Self-Love

Step 1: Apply a stimulating gel or oil to your vulva. (If you use one with CBD, rub it in for about 10 minutes so it can take effect.)

Step 2: Womanizer clit vibe, for the wee little clit BJ you never knew you needed.

Step 3: Slide a glass dildo or internal vibrator against the top wall of your vagina.

Step 4: Await the best orgasm of your life.

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13

If you’re madly (no, really) in love…

The Two Hearts Beat as One

Face each other and wrap your legs around each other. You can do it with penetration (a double-headed dildo works too) or just rub lube-y hands on each other’s most sensitive spots. Rock each other gently and gaze into each other’s eyes. Don’t even say anything, just watch.

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14

If you are long-distance but still want to be bossed around…

The Valentine’s Present

If FaceTime/Skype sex is all that can happen, offer yourself as their personal plaything. Put on something sexy, surround yourself with a few toys, and tell your partner you’ll do their bidding. Will they have you strip? Play with yourself? Touch themselves and not allow you to do the same? Dunno. Kinda kinky though.

15

If you’re going for something intimate and romantic…

The Feeling Is Mutual

No matter where you are in your relationship, mutual masturbation is a surprisingly good way to connect as a couple. Kneel facing each other, sitting back on your heels if it’s more comfortable. Go slowly and watch each other’s faces as you go up to and through orgasm—touching each other, too, if the feeling strikes.

Masturbating in front of your partner is super sexy but also incredibly intimate and personal. Light a candle or two to make it feel like some sex magic is happening.

16

If you wanna keep it casual…

The Lazy 69

The good thing about friends with benefits—besides the benefits—is that no one’s trying to impress anyone. Break out your more hard-core, failproof sex toy for this 69-adjacent move.

You: Lie back on pillows with your toy powered up between your legs. Them: Straddle you with their genitals in easy reach of your mouth. Fire up your toy (hand them the remote…or don’t) and it will attend to you while you attend to your partner orally.

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17

If you’re into anal…

The Underhanded Approach

While your partner is on all fours, approach them from the rear (literally) with a very lube-y finger or dildo at the entrance to their bum. When they’re ready, they can move their hips back and forth onto the finger/toy, so they’re in control of how much they want to take in.

Get another handful of lube (a coconut-oil-based formula is safe with toys and vaginas and effective enough for anal) and cup their area to give them incredible dual stimulation.

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18

If you’re looking for something steamy…

The Semi-Sure Thing

Take matters into your own hands by ensuring your pleasure and bringing a toy into the mix. Then get on top of your partner while they sit on the bed, lean back against their thighs, and fire up that toy to full power as you ride them.

19

If it’s a semi-new relationship…

The V-Day Celebration

Celebrate a different V this V-Day: your own…with or without your new bae. Direct all the attention between your legs by lying back on the bed with your legs spread open into a V shape.

Then lube up your first two fingers and hold them in a V shape as you slide them along the sides of your vulva for next-level feels. Your partner can join in on the fun by entering you as you continue to stroke yourself. (Today has definitely been brought to you by the letter “v.”)

20

If you want to make it extra romantic…

The Yin and Yang

Get super close with a dose of intimate eye contact by having your partner sit on the edge of the bed, with you straddling their lap and drawing them in with one leg wrapped around their torso, the other on the ground for stability. Hold each other’s gaze as you rock against each other with sweet, slow thrusts. Don’t even speak—just moan.

21

If you’ve just had a delicious meal…

The Dessert Course, Oral Edition

Have your partner sit at the edge of the bed so you can keep some sweet supplies at hand on the floor. Drizzle chocolate syrup over the head of their penis, swirling your tongue around the head with slow, wide licks up the shaft to catch the drips. You can decorate it with whipped cream if you’re feeling it, or dot some M&Ms up the shaft, nibbling them off as you go. If your partner has a vulva, do the same but on their nipples or around other parts of their body (you def don’t want anything food-related in or around the vulva!). You can also try edible lube! Get as dirty and decadent as you want—sheets can be washed later.

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22

If you want to kink things up for the first time…

The Venus in Cuffs

Get your freak on with a little exploratory BSDM. Bend over and let your partner bind your wrists to a sturdy doorknob. Your partner can issue commands like “Spread your legs farther” or “Beg me to touch you.” (If they feel shy about being bossy—and it can feel kinda weird the first time—it’s way easier if you’re not looking at them.)

A little roughness (don’t forget to talk it out first and establish a safe word) coupled with soothing kisses will leave you panting. Oh, and no matter how turned on you get, you don’t get to have an orgasm till they tell you it’s okay.

23

​If you’re in a LDR but still want to have control…

The Eargasm

Invest in a Bluetooth-enabled remote-control sex toy so you can go to town on each other from afar. Whisper a sexy story to them over the phone. You’ll be able to feel their moans in your body.

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24

If you’ve been dating forever…

The Super Soaker

Light some candles, grab some champagne, and hop into a steamy bath to create your own little private world. Scrub each other down, taking great care with each part and appreciating what you love so much about their body.

Lean back on your partner’s chest, bliss out, and let them give you an orgasm with a sudsy hand or the spray from a detachable shower head. While you recover, take your time and just appreciate the moment before you switch places and return the favor.

25

If you’re single and into a little voyeurism…

The Party in Your Pants

If you’ve never tried a wearable Kegel exerciser, allow me to change your life.

Put it on silent “discreet mode” (crucial!) and insert it into your vagina. It will press against your clitoris and internal hot spots every time you squeeze your pelvic floor muscles. This probably won’t be enough to put you over the edge while you’re going about your regular day (and who really wants to have an orgasm on the subway?), but you will barely be able to wait to get home and throw yourself on the bed, turn on its vibration mode, and oh…god…yes.

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