Woman-on-top, aka cowgirl position, is hugely popular for good reason: For many among us, it can lead to more orgasms than almost any other position. “Cowgirl position is a way for women to move in ways that feel best to them, focus pressure on all the right areas, and, for some women, these positions set them up to experience more pleasure,” says ob-gyn Renée Hilliard, MD, a sex and relationship coach.
But if you don’t ~exactly~ get the idea of what you’re supposed to on top, you are absolutely not alone. “In my practice, I notice that some women avoid ‘on top’ positions because they’re not sure how to perform sexually,” says Rachael Farina, LMFT, who specializes in sex therapy and addiction.
The best part of cowgirl, though, is that you get to set the agenda, so you get to decide how it all goes down. “The important thing to keep in mind is that there’s no ‘right way’ to do woman on top sex positions,” says Farina. And if you don’t know what to do, give yourself permission to experiment. If you pay attention to how it’s feeling to both you and your partner, then you, my friend, can do no wrong. (And the more you get lost in sensations, the less you GAF about technique.)
The only caveat? “Cowgirl is one of the positions most likely to lead to a broken penis,” says certified sex and relationships coach and clinical sexologist Elaine S. Turner. Avoid rigorous up and down motions and you’ll be fine.
Ready to hop aboard? Saddle up and for a great ride with one these expert-recommended cowgirl sex positions.
1.The Leaner
If you want an easy and comfortable ride, try leaning forward slightly, suggests sex expert Mayla Green, co-founder of TheAdultToyShop.com. Not only will you get the stimulation your clit craves, but you can rest some of your body weight on your hands.
2. The Coffee Grinder
Instead of bouncing up and down (see above: penis breaking), do a slow grind against your partner. Apply some CBD-based lube and grind against their pubic bone. Spread your legs extra wide to get more friction across your entire vulva.
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3. The Wild Horse
Switch up the depth of penetration and speed to maximize the stimulation you’ll both be getting. If you need a template, try four quicker, shallower thrusts, then on the fifth thrust, sink slowly all the way onto your partner. That deep fifth thrust will feel so amazing to both of you.
4. The Switcheroo
5. The Show Off
Feeling shy up there? “The best way to overcome it is with practice and showing off,” says Turner. “Grab your favorite bullet or wand vibrator and get it involved while you’re on top. Or you can grab your partner’s hand and show them where you want them to touch you.” When you’re really into it, you forget about being self-conscious, fast.
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6. The Kinky Cowgirl
“Putting a blindfold over your partner’s eyes or tying them up to the bed can be a massive turn-on,” says Turner. “Incorporating sensory deprivation means focusing on the sensations and maximizing their enjoyment.” (If you feel vulnerable and exposed when you’re on top, a blindfolded partner can help you feel less inhibited.)
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7. The Spotter
You know how when someone’s holding your legs you can magically do sit-ups better? Harness the same principle by tucking your legs under your partner, suggests Sinclair. (Just slide your feet under their butt.) This move can help stabilize you and keep your thighs from tiring out, she says.
8. Face-to-Face Cowgirl
Make cowgirl instantly more intimate by having your partner sit up instead of lying on their back. “This can help take some of the pressure off your thighs, switch up the rhythm, and allow you to hold onto them for support,” says Sinclair. It’s also excellent for sweet kisses and eye gazing.
9. Ramp It Up
Feel like you’re not quite getting the right angle? Try a sex pillow or wedge. “Giving the partner on top a little more leverage and aligning genitals a little better for comfortable insertion makes a huge difference in terms of making this position both more comfortable and more pleasurable,” says co-founder and editor-in-chief of Kinkly, Tara Struyk, who recommends the Liberator Wedge and Ramp Combo.
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10. The Suspended in Time
“People think cowgirl is all about lots of movement and activity (with an occasional shouted yee-haw),” says sexologist Anka Grzywacz, certified sex coach at Good Sx Coaching. “Add some pelvic muscle squeezes and deep breathing to that, pause, and see what happens.” Spoiler: Good stuff, that’s what happens.
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