30 Breakup Texts to Send That Are Way Nicer Than Ghosting

30 Breakup Texts to Send That Are Way Nicer Than Ghosting

The dreaded breakup text: you’ve either sent one yourself or been on the receiving end, but either way you slice it, it’s not fun. What a breakup text often is, though, is necessary, because if someone has invested time and effort into getting to know you and you want out, that is totally fair (you shouldn’t date someone you’re not into!), but they probably deserve to know why. Is ghosting the easier way out? Yes. But is it The Nice Thing To Do? Not really.

Psychotherapist and relationship expert Rhonda Richards-Smith says people ghost mainly because either 1) the thought of hurting someone’s feelings makes them too anxious to even send a text, or 2) they don’t know how to cope with the feelings that come from a breakup.

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“Unfortunately, when lots of time and energy is being spent coping with loss or multiple crises, sending a breakup text may simply be too much for an individual to manage at that time.” Which—again, valid. But if the reason you’re ghosting isn’t because you’re dealing with a crisis and just has to do with not wanting to hurt their feelings, remember: Ghosting is still going to hurt their feelings. It might even hurt more, so you might as well be upfront.


Now, there are certain situations where you are totally entitled to throw those niceties out the window. If this person makes you feel unsafe or uncomfortable, or if they were a huge jerk to you on your date, you don’t owe them an explanation. (Ahem, this is where the “Block this Caller” function can also be helpful.) You should absolutely prioritize yourself and your wellbeing. But if you do feel comfortable sending them an honest breakup text, keep it short, direct, and honest. Here are some suggestions to get you started, for whatever situation you might encounter.

For the person you didn’t quite vibe with but who you’re probably going to have to see again because you have mutual friends:

1.“I’m really glad we gave this a shot, but to be honest, I’m not sure I feel a romantic vibe between us and I think I’d rather just stay friends. What do you think?”

2. “I had fun getting to know this side of you—you’re great, but I think we’re better off as friends.”

For when the conversation just wasn’t flowing:

3. “Thanks for dinner! To be honest, I don’t think we have a ton in common, and I’d hate to waste your time. But good luck!”

4. “I’m glad we crossed paths but I don’t think our connection is what I’m really looking for right now.”

For the perfectly nice (kind of boring) person your friend set you up with:

5. “I’m glad [*insert your friend’s name here*] finally introduced us, but I didn’t really feel a ton of romantic chemistry between us. I’d love to stay friends!”

6. “You’re just as great as [*insert your friend’s name here*] said you would be, but I think I feel a more friendly vibe between us than romantic.”

For the person who was nice but whose goals are way different than yours:

7. “I had a fun time, but I don’t think our lives are going in the same direction. Wishing you the best, though!”

8. “It was nice meeting you, but I don’t think we have enough in common to be compatible long-term, which is really what I’m looking for now.”

For the person who wouldn’t stop talking about themselves and didn’t ask you a single question:

9. “Thanks for last night, but I honestly didn’t feel like you were that interested in getting to know me, which makes me less interested in getting to know you. Wishing you the best.”

10. “Hey! Thanks for your time, but to be honest, I’m not really interested in meeting again. Good luck!”

For the person who only wants a booty call:

11. “It’s been cool getting to know you, but I am looking for more than just a hookup. Good luck with everything!”

12. “I’ve been giving it some thought and I think that we have different priorities when it comes to what we are looking for in a relationship. I know a physical connection is important to you, but this alone doesn’t meet my needs at this time.”

For the person you went on one date with who keeps following up:

13. “It was really nice meeting you, but I just don’t see this working.”

14. “Thanks for dinner the other night! It was nice meeting you, but I’m not really interested in going on another date. Best of luck to you!”

6. For the person you went on a few dates with and just aren’t interested in:

15. “I loved spending time with you, but I don’t think it’s going to work in the long run.”

16. “I had a lot of fun with you, but I don’t think we’re compatible.”

For the person who feels more like a good friend than a romantic partner:

17. “It’s been super fun hanging out with you, but I think I get more of a friend vibe between us. I would love to still hang out, if you’re down!”

18. “I think you’re really cool but don’t think I’m in the same place as you are right now. I’d love to continue hanging out as friends though!”

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For the person who likes you more than you like them:

19. “I think you’re great, but we just want different things and I don’t think it’s going to work.”

20. “It’s been nice getting to know you, but the more time we spend together, the more I realize we’re just on different pages.”

For the person who has a finance job, sleeps on a blow-up mattress, and only texts after midnight:

21. “I have a lot going on right now and just need to focus on myself. Thanks for understanding!”

22. “Sorry, I just don’t think we have enough in common to keep seeing each other.”

For the person who just really wasn’t good in bed:

23. “Hey, it’s been a while since I’ve had this kind of intimacy with someone and it made me realize I’m not super ready for a relationship, I’m sorry!”

24. “You’re great, but I don’t really feel a romantic connection.”

For the person whose politics are drastically different than your own:

25. “I am so sorry, but with your sun in Virgo and mine in Gemini, it’s just not going to work for me.”

26. “Sorry, but I cannot date someone whose values are so different from mine. I hope you find what you’re looking for.”

For the person who isn’t as cool as the other person you recently went on a date with:

27. “To be honest, I think you’re really sweet, but I met someone else and I want to focus on that. Sorry!”

28. “Thanks for hanging out the other night, but I have to be honest and tell you I have to see where things go with this other person.”

For the person you’ve led on for far too long because you were trying to decide if you liked them:

29. “I am really sorry to do this, but the more we hang out, the more I realize the spark is missing between us. I hope you understand.”

30. “I’m sure you feel the same way, but as much fun as I’ve had the past few weeks, I don’t see this working out long-term.”

And finally, for the person who wasn’t who you thought they were (i.e., they turned out to be an asshole undeserving of your time):

*Block number*

Headshot of Isabel Calkins

Isabel is a full-time freelance writer covering all things lifestyle, sex, and wellness. She is very obviously a bisexual Gemini and lives in Seattle with her fiancé and 3 cats. Her work has been featured in Cosmopolitan, Marie Claire, Yahoo, CNN, and more. She is also the founder and CEO of Rumination Storytellers, a creative brand marketing agency. Follow her on Instagram.

Headshot of Veronica Lopez

Veronica Lopez is the sex and relationships editor at Cosmopolitan, where she covers and edits stories about single life, dating, relationships, sex, identity, and more. Previously, she was the sex and dating editor at Elite Daily. Follow her on Instagram here and on Twitter here.

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