Hi, Your Sex Horoscope for the Weekend Is Here

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Hi, Your Sex Horoscope for the Weekend Is Here


What’s happening: Today, the Sun enters Aquarius, beginning day one of Aquarius season 2023! On Sunday, Venus runs into Saturn. The Moon enters dreamy Pisces on Monday, and on Tuesday, the Sun links with lucky Jupiter. Next, the Moon enters Aries on Wednesday, and on Thursday, Venus enters Pisces, its favorite sign!

What that means for *you*:

Aries

This is a great week for making new connections, fooling around, and flirting! Your luckiest day in love is on Tuesday, when Jupiter is activated in your sign. You’re feeling more confident and charismatic, and people are absolutely loving spending time with you. Enjoy your moment in the spotlight now, because once Venus enters Pisces on Thursday, your love life slows way down.

Taurus

You’ve reached a major moment in your love life, Taurus! The Venus/Saturn conjunction on Sunday shows that this is a great time to upgrade your relationship status. Saturn is all about structure and security, and if you’re with someone you really love, this transit can strengthen your relationship. But Saturn also governs blockages, so this weekend could also bring a big “no” from your partner. What is the current state of your relationship? Be honest. If it’s good, you’re making major moves. But if it’s in rough shape? You might be saying “goodbye” this week.

 

Gemini

Try something new this weekend, Gemini! Your relationship’s feeling a little stale, and that’s because it is. Get some lingerie or buy some toys, just do anything you can to spice things up. Get kinky! Spend this week focusing on making your sex life fun again. Once Venus enters Pisces on Thursday, you’re starting to take your romance a little more seriously. If you’re ready, the end of the week is the perf transit for DTRing!

Cancer

You’re deeeeep in your feelings right now, Cancer, and, I hate to say it, this isn’t the best weekend for your love life. If you’re single, you’re feeling extra lonely right now, and if you’re in a situationship or dating someone, you might feel like you’re being ignored. Don’t ask anyone out this weekend, because this astro is (unfortunately) a huge red flag for rejection. Wait until the end of the week, when Venus enters Pisces. You’ll feel much better, and your love life will start sailing smoothly again.

Leo

Aquarius season is cuffing season for your sign, and with all the astro-weather lighting up your chart’s relationship zone this week, it’s safe to say that you’re getting some action! The only potentially tough day is Sunday—this is a “make or break” moment in your relationship, and you’re being called to decide whether or not you want to fully commit to your special someone. As long as things between you and your boo are going well, count on having a great rest of the week with them—especially when lucky Jupiter joins the party on Tuesday.

Virgo

Sorry, bb, but you gotta put your love life in the backseat this weekend—your job is totally taking over. The Moon is in Pisces, activating your chart’s zone of relationships, from Monday ‘til Wednesday, so you’ll find the most luck with dates or hookups on these days. The most exciting part of this week is Venus entering Pisces on Thursday, where it stays for a few weeks. This is one of the best ever transits for finding your next special someone, so if you’re single, keep your eyes peeled!

Libra

You are getting PLENTY of action this week, Libra—just be safe about it! If you’re having sex, have the STI convo and use protection. If you’re going on a first date with your latest Bumble match, make sure you vet them just a little bit before meeting up, and pick a place in public. Y’know, just in case. Tuesday’s a great day to pop the question or ask someone out, thanks to Jupiter’s lucky influence. Basically, you have the potential to make major moves this week.

Scorpio

I’m gonna keep it real with you—you’re just not getting much action this weekend. You’re feeling like a couch potato, so if you are having any fun with someone sexy, it’s likely going to happen in the form of a Netflix and chill sesh. The Moon in Pisces and Venus entering Pisces at the end of the week, however, paint a totally different picture. This activates the loveliest zone of your chart, the 5th house, which governs romance, sex, and fun. You can rest assured that you’re getting lots of action, very soon.

Sagittarius

Aquarius season’s vibe is encouraging you to open up and reach out, so making new connections is a breeze right now—except for Sunday, when Venus bumps into strict Saturn. This transit is a big red flag for rejection, but it’s more likely to play out in the form of getting (hopefully temporarily) ghosted, or your boo forgetting to reply to you. Ask out your crush on Tuesday, when lucky Jupiter gives you a helping hand. You’ll know exactly what to say.

Capricorn

You and your boo are bumping heads, big time. There’s something that you two just can’t seem to see eye-to-eye on, and it’s causing trouble. You’re known for being stubborn as hell, so you’re more than willing to fight for your opinion, but I think you need to stick a pin in it and address it later. When Venus enters gentle, easygoing Pisces on Thursday, you can come back to the conversation and nicely sort it all out. I bet it’ll turn out whatever you were arguing about isn’t actually that big of a deal!

Aquarius

HBD! There’s a ton of exciting astro this week, Aquarius, but the biggest hurdle you’re facing is your inability to open up. If you’re looking for love, you need to let your walls down in order to make a romantic connection. If you’re just trying to get with someone for a hookup, if you don’t take a leap of faith and actually shoot your shot, you won’t get any action. Open up, and you can make some real magic happen.

Pisces

Well, well, well. There’s a little problem from the past you neglected to deal with—your ex—and they’re coming back around. I don’t think they’ll be particularly happy, so get ready for a rough conversation. The point here is to move on, for good, even if it does involve a little bickering or fighting. Venus enters your sign on Thursday, starting off almost a month where you turn into a total babe magnet. You’ll be able to attract a new boo before you know it.

Headshot of Jake Register

Jake Register (better known by his Instagram handle, @jakesastrology) is a Libra and the author of Cosmopolitan’s weekly Sexoscopes. He lives in southeastern North Carolina and spends his free time studying astrology, writing horoscopes, crafting zodiac-flavored memes, and roller skating. If you like astrology and humor, follow him on Instagram and Twitter!



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