When you’ve been on Tinder for as long as I have—let’s just say, it’s been a w-h-i-l-e—you start to lose hope. Each time I send a “hey” or “what’s up” to a match, I already know in my head that it probably won’t amount to much. Twenty-first century dating sucks, you guys!
Sure, maybe I’ll go on a date, have a good meal, and if I’m lucky, participate in a decent conversation…at best. But beyond that, I’ve pretty much come to terms with the fact that Tinder is not where I’ll find intense, all-consuming love.
But before I fully throw in the towel on this forsaken dating app, I figured I should at least try switching up my approach. If I want sexy and passionate chemistry, maybe I need to change the way I start my Tinder convos. And coming hot off of a *second* binge of Netflix’s Bridgerton, I was struck by a moment of inspiration: Perhaps I have to channel my inner Daphne Bridgerton to find my Simon.
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In other words, although I don’t have a court presentation or an extravagant ball to really set the scene, I can absolutely employ some of Daphne’s best lines to try and reel in my perfect duke.
Daphne spent most of the show telling off Simon, but there were a few key times when she was flirty and romantic. So for obvious reasons, these were the lines I relied on. (Things certainly would have been a smidge easier if many of Daphne’s lines didn’t have to do with how hard it is to be a woman, not knowing what masturbation is, or accusing Simon of avoiding impregnating her, but, you know, alas.)
Spoiler alert: While this experiment didn’t lead me to my Simon, it honestly did make me feel better knowing that Daphne Bridgerton *also* would have sucked at Tinder. Peep the receipts below, my friends.
1. If I would’ve tried a lil harder, maybe he could’ve been The One.
2. Simon? Never? Asked? Daphne? For? Her? Insta?
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3. TBH, I just couldn’t think of another Daphne line to respond with.
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4. I’ve never seen someone so excited…
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5. I guess Daphne was too much for him.
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6. Clearly, this is a winning move.
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7. Simon had his doubts too—it’s okay, bb.
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8. Imagine if Simon literally just responded, “Oh thanks.”
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