Presenting: A Non-Awkward, Actually-Fun Couples Quiz to Strengthen Your ‘Ship

Presenting: A Non-Awkward, Actually-Fun Couples Quiz to Strengthen Your ‘Ship

You might feel like you know everything about your partner, but TBH, no matter how long you’ve been together, there’s always room to learn more. Enter: couples quizzes—a great way to learn more about your partner, their values, and strengthen your relationship as a whole, says clinical sexologist and co-founder of The Swann Center, Valerie Poppel, PhD.

Games are a fun and non-threatening activity that allow individuals to open up and share their authentic selves,” Poppel explains. Plus, think about it: How often do you and your partner really take the time to communicate deeply and emotionally? “Most people are so busy throughout the hustle of the day that they only talk about logistics and surface-level conversations,” explains clinical sexologist and psychotherapist, Kristie Overstreet, PhD.

Get Access to *All* of Cosmo

Get Access to *All* of Cosmo

But asking deep questions is essential when it comes to building the intimacy and connection needed to sustain a connection, Overstreet says. “Over time, we tend to put our partner in a box and start seeing them in a simplified way,” explains clinical relationship psychotherapist Avigail Lev, PsyD, founder of Bay Area CBT Center. But people evolve, and it’s important that when they’re partnered up, that partner is excited to get to know every version of them.

Quizzes can help you “rediscover [your partner’s] complexities and ongoing development,” says Lev. And because we’re always changing, there will always be something new you can learn about your boo, adds Overstreet. So don’t be afraid to ask your partner all the questions—just don’t make it feel super interview-y. Overstreet suggests using guided questions in a game format, versus, like, interrogating your partner at dinner. This keeps things more ~low stress~.

But First, How It Works

We chatted with experts to come up with 55 of the best questions to ask your S.O. To play, each of you will answer the following Qs based on what you think your partner’s answer is. You can write down all your answers at once or go one-by-one, taking turns revealing the answers to each other. Whatever you decide, Overstreet says you want to make sure you have plenty of time set aside to chat through the responses—being rushed or distracted isn’t the move here.

If either of you gets a question wrong as you go along, simply take the time to talk about the answer and learn more about your partner. The goal isn’t to get 100 percent, it’s to walk away feeling even more in sync with your boo. So grab your partner and get to playing, because the prize is in the bond you’re about to build.

Basic Questions:

It’s a good idea to start the game off with some seemingly simple Qs, but Overstreet says that doesn’t mean these are any less important to ask. Chances are your partner’s favorite color, book, or movie might have evolved since you last asked, so have fun getting to know where they’re at right now, and remember—these will probably change again in the future. Besides, you should *always* know how your partner takes their coffee because hi, that’s just Romance 101.

  1. What’s your partner’s favorite color?
  2. How do they take their coffee?
  3. What’s your boo’s favorite book?
  4. What’s their favorite movie?
  5. Can your partner cook? What’s their signature dish?
  6. What’s their favorite nickname to be called?
  7. What’s your honey’s favorite dessert?
  8. Does your S.O. prefer FaceTime, texting, or calling?
  9. What’s their favorite social media platform?
  10. What’s your partner’s all-time favorite animal?
  11. What’s the best place your partner has ever traveled to?

Questions About the Past and Future:

Once you know where you’re both at today, the next step is to chat about where you’ve been and where you want to go. Overstreet says it’s important to talk about the past and future to see how your viewpoints are evolving. “The way you thought about [life] when you first started dating may have changed,” she explains, which is why these questions are super valuable. This can give you insight surrounding where they want their life to go and how past actions are still affecting them today.

  1. What’s your partner’s relationship like with their parents?
  2. Has your partner ever used dating apps? If so, what was it like for them?
  3. Did your partner have pets growing up?
  4. Where does your S.O. see themselves in five years? What about 10 years?
  5. What’s your partner’s ex situation? Are they still pals with past luvahs?
  6. Is your partner open to relocation (for your work or theirs)?
  7. Did your partner grow up religious? Do they want religion in their future?
  8. Does your partner want to get married someday?
  9. How does your partner feel about talking about the past? The future?
  10. Does your S.O. want children? If so, how many?
  11. How does your partner feel about their middle and high school days?

Questions About Values and Lifestyle:

Having aligning values—and respecting the ones that don’t align—is major when it comes to forging a connection that lasts. But sometimes talking about personal beliefs can feel high-stakes, which is why going into this game with an open mind is essential. If your partner has a differing viewpoint than you—or simply just clams up—as you’re going along, Overstreet says to take a step back. “Don’t force or manipulate them to answer a question,” she says. “Respect their boundaries.”

If something *is* brought up during the game that needs attention or causes a heated interaction, move on or pause. Then, pick a later time to chat when you’re both calm and go into the convo with an open mind.

  1. Does your partner consider themselves introverted or extroverted?
  2. What are your partner’s political beliefs?
  3. Does your partner budget their money? How?
  4. What does your partner love (and not love) about their job?
  5. Does your S.O. like to travel?
  6. How does your partner de-stress?
  7. What are your S.O’s vices?
  8. How much does your partner value physical activity and healthy habits?
  9. What’s your partner’s love language?
  10. What’s your partner’s apology language?
  11. How do they feel about visiting their family? What about visiting your family?

Outside the Box/Fun Questions:

After some heavier questions, a round of light-hearted ones is just what Overstreet orders. “Remember, [these] games are to be fun and enjoyed,” she says. And even though these Qs seem kinda silly, they still offer plenty of good insight like how your partner seeks validation and what they value in a home and in themselves.

  1. What’s your partner’s go-to karaoke song?
  2. Which Hogwarts house would your partner be in and why?
  3. What’s your S.O.’s spirit animal?
  4. Would your partner ever want to be famous? What for?
  5. And what would they do if they suddenly had a vast fortune?
  6. If your S.O. had a superpower, what would it be? What would they *want* it to be?
  7. What’s your partner’s favorite holiday?
  8. If your S.O. could live anywhere in the world, where would they live?
  9. Who is your partner’s hero?
  10. What’s your partner’s dream vacay destination?
  11. What’s your partner’s best ever Halloween costume?

Questions about Sex and Intimacy:

It wouldn’t be a couple’s quiz without some steamy Qs, but these expert-suggested questions go beyond pillow talk. “A healthy and connected relationship is one where sex and intimacy are discussed,” says Overstreet. “As we change, grow, and evolve, the role of sex can also change.”

Talking about your view on sex—as well as your current wants, needs, and desires—is an important way to “ensure that you both are evolving your emotional and physical intimacy within the relationship,” Overstreet explains. Plus as an extra bonus, it makes for some v hot foreplay.

  1. How often would your partner like to have sex?
  2. And what exactly counts as sex to your partner?
  3. Is your partner into BDSM or kink?
  4. How does your partner feel about watching porn? If they’re into it, what type do they prefer?
  5. What are your S.O.’s favorite places to be touched?
  6. Does your partner like using sex toys? If so, which is their favorite?
  7. How does your boo feel about PDA?
  8. What turns your partner off?
  9. What’s your S.O. favorite sex position?
  10. Does your partner prefer taking a dominant or submissive role in bed (or do they like to switch it up)?
  11. What’s your partner’s most sensitive erogenous zone?
Headshot of Rachel Varina

Rachel Varina is a full-time freelance writer covering everything from the best vibrators (the Lelo Sona) to the best TV shows (The Vampire Diaries). She has over 10 years of editorial experience with bylines at Women’s Health, Elite Daily, Betches, and more. She lives in Tampa, Florida, but did not feed her husband to tigers. When she’s not testing out new sex toys (100+ and counting so far!), she’s likely chilling with her dogs or eating buffalo chicken dip. Ideally at the same time. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter

Headshot of Madeline Howard

Freelance Writer

Madeline Howard is a writer, editor, and creative based in Brooklyn. Her work has been published in Esquire, Nylon, Cosmopolitan, and other publications. Among other things, she was formerly an editor at Women’s Health. Subscribe to her newsletter ‘hey howie’ at  

Source link