Ah, Venmo: a lifesaver for lost wallets, a quick fix for splitting dinner, and a true testament to your character. No, seriously, do you go after the money you’re owed, or do you secretly hate the person who never paid you back for brunch? Venmo may seem purely transactional, but part of growing up is realizing that it’s arguably the most entertaining social media app atm. I mean, how else are you going to keep tabs on your ex who just paid some girl that you’ve never heard of for “a fun night” (bombastic side eye)? Oh, your friend from high school just paid another friend from school for lunch? Looks like they’re getting close—good for them. Hold on! Is that your bestie paying your other bestie for *cocktail emoji*? Where was that invite?? How. Rude.
When you’re not creeping on everyone else, though, Venmo transactions (while painful to the pockets) can be a great opportunity for fun. How, you ask? The captions, people! Never underestimate the power of a good caption! I know you’re used to sticking with the traditional emoji-du-jour or even the courteous “Thanks for drinks!” but I’m here to tell you that things can be better. The people you’re paying deserve more entertainment, dammit. So, whether you’re reimbursing a friend for that huge birthday dinner or trying to convince your partner to let you split the bill, we’ve got tons of pretty funny Venmo caption ideas that’ll give your payments some life. Happy spying spending!
Food and Drink Venmo Captions
- I got a coffee! So you get a coffee! Everybody gets a coffee!
- My one, my only, my pasta plug.
- You have been brunched.
- RIP to the free meal I had before I paid you back. Miss her.
- Wait, the bread wasn’t free??
- Surprise! I have money now.
- An extra dollar for every bite I took of your food <3
- Wine prices went up. Who knew?!
- I know I said this last time, but next time it’s on me!
- I really don’t wanna taco bout it.
- Because I’m hungry.
- Dinner on you tonite.
- Thanks for listening to my drunken rant.
- Drinks on me next time!
- That time I left my wallet at home and didn’t realize it until I ordered my food.
- Sorry for whatever I did after those margs.
- I could’ve SWORN there was money in the bank before I made reservations.
Vacation Venmo Captions
- For liking (and taking) all my vacay Instagram pics.
- If anyone asks, I did not lose my wallet in another state.
- Does this mean it’s time to start planning our next trip?
- It was a good time, not a long time.
- Can’t believe we’re still friends after this trip—here’s a reward.
- I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry–
- One day, we’ll laugh about this trip.
- I’d take the middle seat for you any day.
- Was not aware that beach bars were cash only.
- Hopped off the plane at LAX with a dream and no wallet.
- Here’s your PTO!!
Casual Hangouts and Date Night Venmo Captions
- Voilà, your babysitting fee.
- For getting me out of bed.
- We played “All Too Well” six times which means we drove for an hour, which means I owe you one tank of gas.
- From the after-party of the after-party.
- I was hoping you’d forget about this.
- To more adventures.
- Re: Last Night.
- Sneaky links for life.
- *insert slew of obscure emojis here*
- Because my ex was in that store and I couldn’t go inside.
- Friendship fee.
- A series of unfortunate events.
- Payment for being my friend.
Sending Money to Bae Venmo Captions
- BRB, just buying your love.
- Penny for your thoughts?
- Take. My. Money. Romance. Is. Dead.
- L is for the way you paid for me.
- Please use this to get a haircut. Please.
- I’m sorry I ate most of your groceries. I’ll go home eventually.
- Rent. But, like, rent for staying on your mind. Ya know?
- Are we seriously still doing this??
- Could’ve sworn you said what’s yours is mine…
- Rent for living in my mind all day.
- For being an amazing human.
- For using your Netflix account without permission.
- Thanks for last night 😉
Obscure and Random Venmo Captions
- This is NOT for what you think it’s for.
- And Just Like That…we’re even.
- For that thing at that gas station that one time.
- This is only half because we did it together.
- For the thing we’ll tell our kids about.
- Didn’t have any singles so this will have to do.
- Don’t worry, I’ll make this private.
- This is not my money.
- Sorry about the carpet.
- Calm down, b*tch, I have your money!
- Shut up and take my money.
- Keep the change ya filthy animal.
- That was a terrible idea.
- Don’t spend it all in one place.
- Just take all my money why don’t ya.
Mikhaila is an Editorial Intern who loves all things entertainment and pop culture. Her passions include (but are not limited to): The Real Housewives of Atlanta, Kylie Jenner and Travis Scott, 70s furniture, and lots, and lots of Daria. If you want to see what she’s up to, you can follow her on Instagram here.
Associate Editor
Chaise Sanders is an Associate Editor at Cosmopolitan, where she covers anything from entertainment to lifestyle. Prior to joining the team, Chaise was an editor at Country Living (also part of the Hearst fam) where she interviewed celebs like Dolly Parton, LeAnn Rimes and even Martha Stewart. As one of the Big Apple’s newest residents, there’s a good chance that you can catch her checking out an Insta-worthy cafe or spending way to much $$$ in vintage stores.