First things first: Lube is your friend, and we C-A-N-N-O-T emphasize that enough. “Before you grab the butt plug, though, you have to remember that, unlike the vagina, the anus is not self-lubricating,” says Dr. Oriowo. “This means you have to use lube. Don’t be shy with it, either—use just a bit more than you think is enough. Better to have more lube than less.”
The type of lube you use matters, too. “Always read your ingredients list, and never put anything in any hole that isn’t safe to go in your mouth,” Francis adds. “As a tip for your lube choice, think about what you might like to do in your butt play session. Silicone lube is long-lasting but can be hard to clean and can’t be used with silicone toys. Water-based lube is friendly for everyone, but you will need to reapply. Oil-based lubes give a lot of slip but, depending on the ingredients, can contain allergens (e.g., coconut oil-based lubes are a no-go if you have a nut allergy) and will absolutely stain your bedsheets.”
And ofc, you want to start small and work your way up. As Francis points out, the tissues of the anus are delicate and sensitive, so be gentle with yourself, bb. “If—after exploring stimulation of the sensitive opening from the outside—you’d like to try penetration, start small,” she says. “Always start smaller than you think: a little finger perhaps, or a narrow toy (with a flared base, of course).”