What Does DD/LG Mean in Kink?

What Does DD/LG Mean in Kink?

In case you haven’t noticed, the kink community is positively swimming in its own language and terms to denote the kinds of Dominant/submissive (D/s) dynamics that play out between partners. At its core, kink is all about power exchange, but there are many, many different ways this consensual exchange can take place. There is no one-size-fits-all.

To name just a *few* different genres of Dom/sub play: There is the classic D/s bondage vibe, where the Dom acts as a master over the submissive. Then there’s the Dom/brat dynamic, where the sub is a “brat” and purposely “disobeys” the Dom in order to receive punishments. There is a Master/pet dynamic where the Dom is a pet-owner and the sub is the pet….We could go on—and we will, because there’s also the one that brings us here today. Hi, let’s talk about DD/lg.

DD/lg is an acronym for “Daddy Dom/little girl.” It’s “a common type of BDSM play where the dominant partner (referred to as “Daddy”) takes on a nurturing and guiding role, while the submissive partner (referred to as “little girl”) takes on a more childlike, submissive demeanor and relies on the Daddy for care and guidance,” says kink instructor and sex expert Julieta Chiara.

This kind of play is also referred to in more gender neutral terms as a “Caregiver/little” dynamic. Chiara explains that while some people might get the ick from the idea of calling their partner “Daddy” or being treated like a helpless child, this dynamic is actually based on consent, trust, and understanding between adult partners.

Let’s break down the DD/lg dynamic, why some people are so horny for it, and how you can try it for yourself, if you’re into that.

What is DD/lg?

In the DD/lg dynamic, the Dominant partner plays the Daddy Dom and the submissive partner plays the little girl. While the term denotes a male and female partner, this can be played out with people of any gender. It might look like a Mommy/little girl, a Mommy/little boy, Daddy/little boy or a Caregiver/little dynamic. It’s customizable, which means it’s available to anyone who wants to try it. (Note: “In the kink community, the moniker of the person being granted power is capitalized as a gesture of respect to the mutually consented-to power exchange,” says Mistress Kye, a professional kinkster and BDSM expert.)

Celina Criss, PhD, a certified sex coach specializing in BDSM, says that DD/lg partners usually incorporate a layer of age play, wherein the Dominant partner is in the older, more mature, caregiving role and the submissive partner plays the younger, inexperienced, child-like role.

Within this dynamic, all parties enthusiastically consent to one partner having more power than the other. “The parental partner is expected to nurture and guide the less powerful partner by setting guidelines, boundaries, structure, and accountability,” Kye says. “The less powerful partner agrees to adhere to the guidance.”

Emerson Karsh, a kink educator, adds that these dynamics can be confined to sexual play during scenes or function as a 24/7 D/s dynamic, wherein partners stay in their respective roles all the time. How this plays out in a given relationship will vary depending on everyone’s individual needs and desires.

And let’s say it again, just so it’s crystal clear: Everyone involved in this kind of play is a consenting adult.

Why are people into DD/lg play?

As is true of all sexual preferences all the time, the reasons people are drawn to this particular kind of kink are nuanced, varied, and specific to each individual. That said, people who are into DD/lg dynamics may be drawn to it because of the love, trust, and nurturing it often incorporates. Not to mention, there is an edginess to it that can be super hot, as this kink “deliberately plays with taboos around age and power dynamics,” says Criss.

The submissive party in DD/lg play is often drawn to the idea of being cared for. Sometimes it just feels really good to be taken care of. ICYMI, being an adult is hard, and being able to let go of those responsibilities during sex can be a huge relief (and turn-on) for some.

As for the Dominant, the idea of being able to nurture their submissive might be the main draw. “They may enjoy asserting dominance in a way that is caring and nurturing instead of domineering or sadistic,” Karsh explains.

As with all kink, a big part of the appeal for everyone involved is the consensual giving and receiving of power.

It’s also worth noting that DD/lg play doesn’t necessarily include sex. Kye tells us that while this dynamic can certainly have a sexual element, it doesn’t always. For some, it may be entirely about play that is nurturing and caring.

How this dynamic plays out in the bedroom

The ways people play with this kink vary widely. Criss says that some common elements of DD/lg play may include dressing as a certain age (think: frilly dresses, sailor outfits etc.) and sharing activities usually associated with childhood such as coloring books, decorating cupcakes, or watching cartoons.

Many people who play with this kink don’t use gear or activities at all, relying instead on the dynamic itself to carry the scene. This makes it highly accessible because you don’t need a bunch of expensive stuff to make it work.

There may also be an element of reward and discipline. “Daddy helps his little girl learn new things, sets boundaries, provides guidance and expectations,” Criss says. “Stickers and spankings go hand-in-hand with this kink.”

The ways in which this play happens and the context of the relationship is entirely dependent on the people playing. “It could be a mutually agreed upon ‘scene’ that’s a one-off, a part-time dynamic with daily check-ins via texts or phone calls, or a full-time, live-in relationship, with one partner playing a more parental role,” Kye explains.

If you’re interested in DD/lg, here’s how to talk to your partner

If you want to try this kind of play with your partner, the experts suggest bringing up the topic in a neutral place. Make sure your partner is open and willing to talk about sex and fantasy. And remember, consent for this kind of conversation is key. This stuff can be a bit emotionally charged, so coming to the convo with love and empathy is crucial for success.

You’re also going to want to get clear about what you want—from this conversation and from the play itself—so you can better articulate your desires. Chiara suggests asking yourself the following questions to prepare: What appeals to you? Why do you want to play with this partner? How do you envision it going? What does this kind of play give both of you?

Karsh notes that setting boundaries and rules before you play is also key. Everyone needs to feel safe within the dynamic for it to work. “Though physical safety is always important in kink, reconstructing our ideas of mental safety is also important before engaging in DD/lg,” she says.

You should factor in how age play might be involved in the scene and get clear about what that looks like for you. “It’s really important to establish boundaries around the age you’re comfortable playing and what feels safe and fun for your dynamic in terms of expectations, behavior, and discipline,” Criss says.

The DD/lg dynamic can be a fun and relatively accessible way to play with kink between consenting adult partners. It doesn’t require a bunch of whips and chains and ball gags—just enthusiastic consent and some good old-fashioned imagination. As long as you and your partner(s) take the time to review and discuss your desires and boundaries so everyone can give their informed, enthusiastic consent, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to get down with DD/lg. We’re all just trying to live our best, sexiest lives.

Gigi Engle is a writer, certified sexologist, sex coach, and sex educator. Her work regularly appears in many publications including Brides, Marie Claire, Elle Magazine, Teen Vogue, Glamour and Women’s Health.

Source link